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"Psychological" Questions Related to Trading

 
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alouash

"Psychological" Questions Related to Trading

Hello Bees,

My aim is to earn my living by trading because I am an almost single mother of little children and a regular job does not satisfy me. I love trading and I also need to spend time with and for my family and not in the office from dusk till dawn.

But I have several fears and I would like to hear from you how do you cope.

1) I am afraid of isolation because when we trade, we mostly spend out time alone in front of our computer. Up till now, I trade only on Mondays because it is my day off but I would like to trade more frequently. Don't you get crazy from not having enough social life?

2) My family (my parents, boyfriend or even friends) consider trading as not a serious enough activity, something like gambling. I don't even dare admitting to tham that that's what I do and what I'd like to do for living and for exemple if I aske them to leave me quiet beause I need to trade (= work), they would not respect it and would ask me to do things such as cook for them, go somewhere, take care of the children, look for another more useful job etc, because "I don't have anything to do". Don't you have similar issues with you family and friends?

Thank you for your reactions.

Kind regards ans happy trading,

 

 

 

 

Mon, 02/12/2018 - 7:31am
 
danjsilve

Hi alouash

Yes, you raise a couple of interesting points there.

1. It can be a lonely pursuit. There are two traders I chat with every day, to support each other, encourage each other, and in a way hold ourselves accountable, That really takes the edge off. I did belong to two forum groups. One on Whatsapp and one on River, I think that was what it was called. I came out of those two forum groups as it was very busy in there. I am UK based and I talk to one guy every day who is in Slovenia in Gold 1, I met him when he was still in Bronze, and I also chat to a lady in Texas, who was funded about 3 months before me. So that has been a big help to me.

2. One day I will have a greater social life. This is the sacrifice I make for a better future, I think of this as being like at University, I am investing in my long-term future

3. I tend not to chat too much to non-traders about what I do, as they can have a negative impact if you are not careful, it'snot their fault, they really don't know much about it.

4. You could always start up a chat group yourself.

Happy Hunting

Dan

 
gpdno

Well I can relate so let me offer my opinion.

1. Isolation is a big issue. Not just isolation but having someone to talk with who actually understands what you are going through with your trading. For me, one of the big advantages of Apiary, is I can talk to other people who understand and who share the same types of struggles. I'm part of Rex's Navigators group and there are several traders in that group that I will talk to on almost a daily basis.

2. This is tough. Honestly, there are only two people I have told about my trading. I told my best friend soon after I started. Iv'e know her for 30 years and new she would support me 100% in anything I try. I did not tell my wife until I was close to becoming funded (gold 2) because she would have discounted my efforts otherwise.
The rest of my family is clueless. I may get around to telling them but I may just show up one day in my Ferrari and keep them guessing ;)

Peace,
Greg

 
4xNorm

It is totally possible to do it and has the potential to make a better living than a Dr or lawyer, you just have to do it and prove it to yourself. You have to believe it before you can achieve it or you won't get there. You must be realistic too, You probably aren't going to make a living at it until your account has grown to more than 50K though it could be possible. Everyone around you will be negative and call you a gambler and until you make rules and follow them, guess what? You are. Once you understand and follow rules you can succeed. Part of your rules should be time of day to trade to accommodate family and social life. I love trading and could study it or do it all day so this is a hard one for me. In case you haven't noticed, the game is fixed :) do yourself a favor and forget indicators and learn price action which is what the big boys use. Good luck in your quest!

 
laportnov

hello, I also know what is not understanding in the family and
if you do not have any support or at least understanding, it is not possible to practice at all

 
Rookie

alouash, laportnov, I have similar issues but everyone knew I was nuts to begin with, while I care my desire is greater than their ignorance so I just go with the flow and trade.

As an example I opened my first business back in the 70ties, little 3 pimp gas station (gas and oil only) with a shoe kids shoe box of change and a few dollars to make change. The station did 97,000 pals the 1st month which was considerably better than the previous guy. After that it never went under 100,000 gals per month.
My last business I started with a an associate partner and 30 cash and 30 loan. I 5 years we were doing 5mil annually.
If you have the heart and will, it will happen. I had to make a major change to my life this past summer and took several months off. When I came back it all beginning to come together.

As Hac says and has demonstrated with others monster returns are possible! You can do it!

Commitment, Desire, Perseverance and Fortitude tempered with a lot of love and forgiveness will get you there.

 
Rookie

Listen I not trying to be hard I was a single dad back then... it wasn't supper easy. The bigger the obstacle the bigger the deliverance. I read a lot of Heito Alger type books back then, Zig Ziglar and others. Family life is demanding, you will net to set your time aside every day and just stick to it, not matter what.

My employer from back in the gas station days came over here with some tools and a pair of wooden shoes. They were carpenters from the old country as they say. They went about working on gas stations. The ended up owning oil companies. The are several books called the Seven Sisters, one of them is about oil folks. Albert is the one referred to as a barron. You know Dutch Boy paints the original picture of the little kid from Holland hangs in his office. I mean how cool is that. When the US had the big gas shortage the government sent him to Kuwait to open up the country and receive the problem. Here are two brothers that didn't have two nickels to rub together and became some ot the richest folks in the country. Back when I worked for them gas was in the 30 cent per gallon pricing. I was strongly encourage to save .05 cents per (I mean 5 cents come on get real) gallon for every gallon of gas that my sation(s) sold. You know it grew very rapidly. At first it didn't seem like so much but then the miracle of the Benjamin formular started to work. Unfortunately I was to young and immature back then to appreciate what I was being taught.

Now almost 50 years later I am very thankful to Shawn and the Apiary fund to have a second chance. Don't let yourself get tricked out of this wonderful opportunity.

 
gaelsorc

Alouash,

IF you need to tell anyone, maybe showing them the possibilities will satisfy their curiosity.

85% of the profits on a $250,000 account if you can earn:

.25% / day

.50% / day

2% / day

etc, etc, ??????????

Good advice from Norm - it is all up to you.

Good luck on your quest !

Paul

 
Rookie

@alouash, we haven't heard from you in a bit. How is your education going?

 
truedge1

fear the best explantion i have seen is false evidence appearing real

F false

E evidence

A appearing

R real

when income goes up every one will be visiting

all the best Rick

 
stevenbrownetrading

My friends say the same thing to me,he said trading is gambling and not a serious thing but I prove then wrong everyday.just focus on your vision on who you want to become trust me your will surely get there. Don't allow anyone to tell you, you can't.all the best and Happy trading

 
caflischmartin

Hi,thanks for sharing your situation
You already solved some of the issues actually,you connect with other traders.
dont try to explain it to others,they wont understand it,otherwise they would start also!!
It is the real and right approach you take,it is serious and you need to focus.
Spending time alone is definitely beneficial for your personality also.
If you look at it like gambling,take the position of the casino !!The casino is part of the gambling right ?
Do they loose money ? NOOOOO
They know in the long run they make profits because the edge is in there favour(the 2 zeros in roulette for example changes the probability from 50/50 ,red or black ,to much less )
So kindly tell the guys who make these statements that you are the casino in the game,not the gambler !

 
bipin819

Set fixed hours mainly active market times and treat it like Business or work that others do not disturb us

 
paul.lenssen

Hello Alouash,

First I would like to thank you as your questions about Silver 2 helped me to reach several objectives.

Second I would like to say that if you cannot take care of yourself, then how can you take care of others. Stick to your choice and ask them to support you when they really care for you. I meditate regularly and my kids are now accustomed to that. The same with my trading, that I see as work in progress. I stil have time to share with them, like playing/coaching football, watching movies or playing games on internet, next to shopping, household and cooking, that are also my responsibilities, but I make them understand that this is important to me and can also benefit them. And I do most of my work when they are in school or in the evening when they are asleep. Sometimes till 02.00 hours in the morning. But so far I am doing fine and I wish you will find your way as well.

Greetings,

Paul

 
Rookie

Paul, you are one motivated person with a proper attitude!

I read over your bio, methinks the word luck if used in the context that we set up our luck thru proper preparation that's fine but in the usual context no way! This is a game of probabilities and luck favors those that are ready to receive and take advantage of the opportunity.

Ok, I'm done well almost.
http://www.agiftofinspiration.com.au/stories/attitude/hotdogs.shtml

The man who sold very good hot dogs
There was once a man who lived by the side of the road and sold hot dogs. He was hard of hearing so he had no radio - he had trouble with his eyes, so he read no newspapers and of course he didn't look at television. But he sold very good hot dogs. He put up signs on the highway telling everyone how good they were, he stood on the side of the road and cried out to all that past 'buy a hot dog, they are the best in town'.

And people bought his hot dogs and he increased his meat and bun orders. He bought a bigger stove to take care of all the extra business. He finally got his son to come and help him out with his business.

But then something happened, his son who had been well educated said . . . ' Father, haven't you been listening to the radio or reading the newspapers or watching television? There's a big recession happening right now. The current business situation is terrible in this country - we have problems with unemployment, high living costs, strikes, pollution, the influence of minorities and majorities, the rich, the poor, drugs, alcohol, capitalism and communism '.

Whereupon his father thought, ' well my son's been well educated, he reads the papers, listens to the radio and watches television, so he ought to know '.

So his father cut down on his meat and bun orders, took down all his advertising signs and no longer bothered to stand by the side of the road to promote and sell his hot dogs, . . . . and his hot dog sales fell almost overnight.

'You're right, son' the father said 'we certainly are in the middle of a recession'